


To Seduce a Sphinx:  Short Smuts from the Habry-verse

by alephthirteen



Series: Do a Proper Job of It [3]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Animagus Are Common, Animagus Forms as Aftercare - Freeform, Chugging Firewhisky With the Triwizard Cup, Consensual Teenage Sex, F/F, F/M, Flimsy Excuses Given to Muggle Hookups, Fourth Law of Magical Zoology, Making Whorish (and Man-Whorish) Clothing from Basilisk Hide, Metamorphamagus Is Great for Kinky Roleplay - Freeform, Most of the Black Women are Metamorphamaguses, Muggle Safe Sex Items Used as Appropriate, Naughty Potions, Naughty Spells, Orgasmic Misfires of Magic, Sirius Black is an Absolute Dog, Skinny Dipping in the Lake, To The Point Where She Never Realizes that HERMIONE Is Going to Him for Pick-Up Tips, Tonks Is Doing Her Best to Keep Harry From Going Full Womanizer Like His Godfather, Transfiguration is a Witch's Best Friend
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-24
Updated: 2020-12-24
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:47:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28274085
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alephthirteen/pseuds/alephthirteen
Summary: Tonks really doesn't have time for this.  She's got her favorite playmate tied to the bed and she's earned some reward roleplay.  Tonks just binged this actress's entire filmography to get the face and voice right.Molly's owl could not have come at a less convenient time if she used a time-turner and took three tries.She's no idiot.  Tonks knows that then when Molly bloody  Weasley tells you there's a weird kid who needs a home, you make some apologies to your date, fix your hair and get on your damn broom!-----"Harry, right?"He nods."Yeah, right now.  Aubrey's been kinda shy after what Dudley said.  Usually turn into her every other day but...she's scared."What Dudley had said was that if Harry was going to be a girl sometimes, he ought to make use of it.  McGonagall swears she has no idea how the entire house vanished while Harry was taking a walk, leaving only a baffled Hedwig and his school trunk."My name is Tonks.  Welcome to the House of Black."She snatches a small, lacy piece of red fabric off a lampshade and tosses it into the fireplace."Err...pretend you didn't see that."
Relationships: Apolline Delacour/Narcissa Black Malfoy, Fleur Delacour/Luna Lovegood, Hermione Granger/Harry Potter/Ginny Weasley, Nymphadora Tonks/Original Character(s)
Series: Do a Proper Job of It [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2070399
Kudos: 7





	To Seduce a Sphinx:  Short Smuts from the Habry-verse

**This work exists in what I call "the Habrey-verse". It's a series of smut and comedy pieces that will likely run ahead of the plot by a fair bit. As the plotty bits catch up, you may see some of these porny bits copied over.**  
  


The main stories are " **Crimes of Gilbraith** " (after noted transphobe JK Rowling's other penname) and the sequel " **Fantastic Witches and Where to Shag Them** " and those have the plot of the school and post-school parts of the story. In those stories you can see a retelling of the books where the same shit happens for different reasons as a whole bunch of idiot Death Eaters try their absolute damndest to bring Voldemort back, pushing against Snape's treachery, McGongall's meticulous plotting, and Dumbedore's fearsome reputation. I tried to find a way for every single book's main threat to still happen (up until late in book six, working on it) in a world where Voldemort is really gone.  
  


**About the Habrey-verse:**

  
Here Lily's sacrifice accidentally sends her hopes for a little sister for Harry into him, creating a female mirror called Aubrey. Together they survive the Dursleys without them ever noticing that sometimes Harry wakes up as a girl. With some help from a version of McGonagall who checks Dumbledore's bullshit, they get free of the Dursleys and are sent to Tonks, the Black family member closest to Sirius.

With McGonagall and Snape's help, they separate the two bodies not long after they arrive at Hogwarts so their magic can begin developing. 

Hogwarts operates with a delicate touch, balancing the need to develop the link between a wizard or witch's sexual self-discovery and their skill and power while with the demands of the pureblood families that only calculated, pre-ordained children are born.

Over their school years they participate in 'lion hunt' parties in the Gryffindor dorms, 'birdwatching' with the Ravenclaws, 'snake-taming' with the Slytherins and Hermione even tries to popularize 'badger-buggering' with one of the boys on Huffepuff quidditch team and her trusty Witches Hammer, an enchanted strap-on.

Harry and Aubrey make use of their unique identity to be in two places at once with their friend (and later, mutual crush) Hermione. All the while Crabbe, Goyle and Millicent never figure out who this green-eyed girl who keeps standing up for Hermione is when they they to corner her. Millicent Bulstrode figures she can get a piece of the mudblood if she lies in ambush in the girl's loo, only to wake up tied to the sink pipes while Moaning Myrtle talks about her day.

They engage in not-so-wise teenage trysts, well meaning inter-house outreach and finally settle down with a pair of lionesses who shall make fine wives for Lady Potter and Lord Potter. Rather than leave him to a cruel fate in the snake pit, they bring in Harry's boy-toy when they graduate.  
  
  
Let's dive into the trashcan together!!!

**Author's Note:**

> ##  Feeling posh? [Try these!  
>    
>  ](https://rb.gy/b1fjhr)
> 
> ### Like it? Hate it? Have questions? Come holler at me about fanfic!
> 
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> 


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